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The Joy of Indecision

11/9/2015

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I was at it again yesterday.

"Bangs or no bangs?"

It's something I ask myself once every 4-6 months. This time was different, though, since the question wasn't accompanied by the tandem query, "long hair or short hair?" (At least I've finally reached the conclusion that I prefer long tresses.)

Instead of pestering friends and family for the gazillionth time for their opinion on what is, frankly, a pretty boring subject, I looked to the interwebs for help. Boy, did it ever deliver!

I spent hours (embarrassing but true) on the first site I found, going nuts and bananas with the hair-dos (and -don'ts). Gwyneth Paltrow drag? Not for me. Katy Perry in her pink up-do phase? Not a winner either, but after applying a thick coat of pretend mascara to my lashes, I think I discovered a hole in my beauty routine. (I've never worn the stuff, but plan to now!)

So, bangs or no bangs? No idea! But I'm thinking of giving blond highlights a try.

Birthdays and Bucket Lists

10/28/2015

At the top of my to-do list for the coming year: Moving past the 10-minute mark in my morning meditation.

I was corresponding with a friend the other day who shocked me with an astounding proclamation: Every item on her bucket list had been ticked off. Yes--she'd accomplished everything she'd ever wanted to do, and felt pretty good about the state of things. Content. No complaints. No itch for more.

What?! How is that even possible?

My bucket list is e-p-i-c, and while I've crossed so many dreams, wishes, and desires off already, and am proud to have met so many goals (many of which were not pain-free), it barely feels as though I've made a dent in my personal to-do list. What's more, I am continuously adding to the aspiration pile. Every day, it seems, another "Yes! Gotta do this!" idea springs forth. I can't stop it--and, frankly, don't want to.

This week, I'll celebrate another year's journey around the sun, and with this birthday--as with all the others--comes contemplation; contemplation about where I've been, where I am now, and where I want to go in the coming 365 days. Part of the birthday process is taking stock of that old bucket list, and making additions, deletions, and tweaks. Some of the things I'd like to move to the top of the list in the next year include:

- Overcoming my fear of public speaking and getting the confidence to work a room
- Learning to write fiction
- Mastering sewing (thanks, Project Runway, for the incessant inspiration!), so I can bring my sartorial dreams to life
- Moving past the 10-minute mark in my morning meditation practice
- Visiting Sri Lanka

There are many, many, MANY more things I want to do, see, accomplish, improve, try, and master. I hope I'll have the chance to do like my friend did and cross each of those items off, but I know there'll always be something new to replace the "done" items.

How about you? What dreams are you burning with desire to fulfill? What do you want to learn? To see? To experience? If you're so inclined, please share!

The Big Downsize

7/7/2015

For nearly my entire adult life, I've lived in large cities: First Los Angeles, then San Francisco, and now, Paris. I've spent time in small towns, too, but found them claustrophobic and lacking in diversions--a death knell for creative types who crave stimulation and activity, not only to fuel and give expression to new ideas, but to stave off the blues. There's something a little depressing about not having anything to do--or, more accurately, a perceived lack of options--though I rarely-to-never find myself bored these days, even when camping out in the country without electronic devices or in the company of other humans.

Just recently, I've been gripped by what seems to me a completely novel and possibly slightly nutty idea--something I never imagined doing: Moving to a small town. Not teeny-tiny, but small enough to believe that building a sense of community is actually possible, and that my voice in civic matters might actually matter.

That I'm willing to entertain such an idea is shocking even to myself, but the more I think about it, the more I like the thought. Being an average-size fish in a small pond has its allure, and opens up the possibilities of taking on projects--such as opening a brick-and-mortar business--which can be prohibitively expensive in big cities.

About a decade ago, two dear friends moved from San Francisco, population 750,000, to a small, midwest town with population of about 7,000, to pursue their dream of opening a restaurant--something they couldn't conceive of doing in SF's booming real estate market. Today, that dream has exploded on the pages of Food & Wine, Bon Appetit, Time, and The New York Times, and the pair are set to open their second restaurant in Kansas City. Could they have done it in San Francisco? Maybe, but the literal and figurative costs would surely have been much more overwhelming.

So now comes the fun part: Where to go?! Do you have a small town? What do you love about it? What do you do for fun there, and what are your neighbors like? I'd love to hear from you!

Confessions of a Grad School Dropout

6/9/2015

Back in 2009, I was in rut. I’d grown bored with my job as a magazine editor, and was craving intellectual stimulation and an escape route from the 9 to 5 (more like 9 to 9) grind. A good friend had recently applied and been accepted to grad school, and I thought I’d give it a shot myself. After settling on English Literature (“I love reading, so this will be perfect!” was my logic at the time), I applied, was was surprised when I was actually accepted into the program.

With excitement and a sense of adventure, I re-entered academia and quickly discovered that … I hated it.

Going to class was borderline torture. I had naively assumed class-time would resemble the fun, casual ambience of a book club meet-up, imagining a gaggle of lit geeks sitting around drinking tea and discussing plot and character. There was some of that (with booze replacing the tea in one particular theory class), but foremost, we were each expected to contribute to the body of knowledge through presentations and other public displays—something this wallflower with self-esteem issues felt neither prepared for nor particularly interested in. Three semesters in, I gave grad school the heave-ho. Six years on, I’ve no regrets.

Now, I’m back at post-BA, pre-MA square one, reading books for the sheer pleasure of the experience. I’m currently on a autobiography kick, pulling inspiration from the lives of some extraordinary women who share several traits in common: Courage, creativity, and authenticity, among others. If you could do with a dash of inspiration coupled with some good laughs and maybe a tear or two, too, add my recommendations to your summer reading list.

And tell me, what are yours?

Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys
by Viv Albertine
Viv Albertine played guitar in a late-‘70s band called The Slits, which, contrary to the vibe of the name, wasn’t as punk rock as it sounds. What is totally punk rock is that Albertine survived (and thrived in) the male-dominated, rough-and-tumble art and music scene in ‘70s and ‘80s London. Her DIY attitude, her sensitivity, and her uncompromising creativity bring this book to life, and her humanizing portraits of the company she kept back in the day (Sid Vicious, Mick Jones, John Lydon) add depth and perspective to an era often portrayed in the mediain a one-dimensional way. I’m still reading this one, and will be very sad 10 pages from now when I have to say goodbye!

Girl in a Band
by Kim Gordon
Maybe you’re like me, and grew up listening to Sonic Youth, enjoying the band’s unique brand of weird(ish), experimental pop music and trying decide whether or not you actually really liked it. The history of the band is only one part of this book; Gordon’s fascinating childhood and young adult years are juicy and revelatory, and the introduction to her non-musical artistic side is an unexpected bonus. Yes, she dishes about her breakup with Thurston Moore, but this book is less about him/them than it is a very personal look at the life of a quiet, creative soul on the brink of a new phase of her life.

Bossypants
by Tina Fey
Ok, this one’s been out for a while, but it’s a real gem. I never considered myself a true Tina Fey fan (sorry, Tina, but your movies and TV roles don't do it for me), but I became one after reading this smart, extremely funny, poignant, sassy memoir of growing up Greek, hyper-intelligent, and creative in mainstream America.

How to Grow Up
by Michelle Tea
Messy, honest, and loaded with very personal San Francisco memories that mirror many of my own from the same grungy epoch, this book felt like a good, tea-soaked gab session with my best girlfriend on a lazy Sunday afternoon. If you’ve ever felt out of control of your life or that your problems were beyond repair, this marvelous memoir will rekindle your faith in your own resilience and inspire you to trust in your own amazing abilities.

and up next…

Not That Kind of Girl
by Lena Dunham
Have you read it yet? What did you think? Would you recommend it?

A Total Lightweight

4/5/2015

Never have I felt more worthy of a vacation than the one I just returned from. The previous few months were a blur of nose-to-the-grindstone days and late nights, consumed by multiple work-related deadlines, the heartbreak of a couple of deaths in the family, and the usual everyday stresses of life. Once I’d met my last deadline, I’d promised myself a vacation to my “happy place”—otherwise known as anywhere that’s hot, humid, and close to the sea. Like writer Heather Goodspeed-Walter suggests in her Rewilding story, we can all benefit from the healing power of the outdoors, and I was definitely overdue for some quality nature time. After debating between India and Thailand, I settled on the latter because I knew it would easy (no visas!), that the food would be divine (coconut curry, 24/7!), and it ticked all the “happy” boxes.

On departure day, I was relaxed and ready to roll. I knew I deserved this trip—and the daily massages I was about to indulge in—and I was also utterly lacking in pre-flight anxiety because my low-maintenance travel style supports easy, fluid mobility.

For me, successful travel begins and ends with the bag: As you can see, I travel light! Tucked inside that one little carry-on bag (A fabulous Parisian thrift-store find) are all the necessities for a fun-in-the-sun holiday. Specifically,

- a pair of sandals
- a sun hat
- a stainless-steel water bottle
- bathing suit
- two sleeveless dresses
- a one-piece sleeveless jumpsuit
- a sheer beach cover-up
- undies and bras
- scarf
- belt
- a cloth shopping bag
- toiletries
- travel journal and second notebook
- backup pair of sunglasses

In my purse, I carried my Kindle, a small notebook, passport, pen, wallet, glasses, sunglasses, and a toothbrush. Sounds like a lot, right? It was! In fact, each time someone made a comment about how light I was traveling, my immediate response was “I’m actually carrying more than I’d like!” Next time, I’ll pare it down by eliminating the extra dress, ditching the belt (I can use the scarf to cinch in my waist if need be), and maybe carrying just one notebook instead of three.

What does your packing situation look like for an average vacation? Do you stuff a suitcase on wheels or load up a backpack? What are some of the indispensible items you carry with you when you ship off? And most importantly, where are you spending your next vacation? Please share!

Stop Stressing!

2/3/2015

A couple of days ago, I finally worked up the nerve to google something that had been niggling at me since July.

"Eyes, rainbow, bright, jagged, temporary," I typed into the search engine, praying that the words--which reflected two separate episodes lasting a combined total of 30 minutes--wouldn't elicit results with the words "brain tumor" or "eye cancer" in them.

Because i didn't understand this bizarre physiological experience, I went straight to catastrophizing, thinking it had to be a sign of an imminent health disaster.

Which is why I ignored it.

I've always been on the mindset that, if I've got a terminal illness, I'm better off not knowing about it. The stress would surely kill me before the disease did.

The light, which was as bright as if I were staring into the sun, took the shape of a lightning bolt, but with a psychedelic rainbow all around it. It didn't hurt, and didn't go away when I closed my eyes, which was somehow worrisome and comforting at the same time.

"Ocular migraine," came the search-engine results. Yay--I'm not dying! Turns out that the condition is somewhat rare, and the usual cause is stress.

Stress!

I should have guessed.

Over the years, my body has reacted to stress in some very showy ways, including hair loss (leaving huge bald patches that lasted as long as the acute stress was present), weight loss, and insomnia (I didn't sleep at all my first semester in journalism school). Connecting the dots back in time, I realized that yes, July was a very stressful month that included a big move and many sad goodbyes to friends and other loved ones.

I like to think that I'm getting better at managing stress, and I credit the many tiny tweaks I'm incorporating into my life to build healthy habits as a way to better deal with life's curveballs: Daily yoga, meditation (something I NEVER thought my non-stop-chattering brain could ever manage to do), and positive affirmations, for starters.

What do you do to manage your stress? Have you experienced any physical changes in response to stress? What were they, and how did you overcome them? I would love to hear from you!

New Moon, New Beginnings

1/20/2015

If you're not already familiar with the term "manifesting," you will be soon. This idea--which is simply to bring about changes in your life that you endeavor toward with meaningful intention--is kind of kind of hot right now, and with good reason. After all, don't we all want our dreams to come true 5in 201? I believe it's possible to make anything we truly want to happen,actually happen, but it requires a little effort, a clear vision, and good intentions.

New moons, like the one hanging in the sky tonight, are perfect opportunities to set our intentions in motion and launch our vision in a cosmically supportive way. For millennia, our agrarian forbears planted their seed at the new moon, with the knowledge that this lunar phase was a time of fertility that would ensure a bountiful harvest. That notion can be borrowed and transformed to turn our own "seeds"--creative ideas, goals, and resolutions--into future successes.

This is why I've chosen today to commit to bringing fresh content to Swell, and to transforming this space into a place for fun, transformation, growth, and positivity. And for making my own dreams come true!

What would you like to manifest on this new moon, or any of the new moons to come? What ideas are brewing and stewing that you'll be bringing to life? Please share!

Comfort and Loss

12/16/2014

Yesterday, we lost a beloved member of our family. It wasn’t altogether unexpected, but the news still came with its own kind of heartbreak—a sadness rooted in the permanence of death, and the pain and joy of the memories we have left

In the past, the experience of loss always triggered a “I need a glass of wine” response. Now, I reach for gentle support to get through the grieving process instead of trying to blur its rough edges with a glass of Bordeaux. Crisis Cooler is a flower essence preparation designed to “help people and animals get through the event with the trust that everything is going to be fine.” This was what I reached for when the news came, but it’s just one of many possibilities for people who need a bit of gentle support to get through tough times.

Ignatia Amara is a homeopathic remedy that’s specifically formulated for the anxiety that accompanies loss and grief. It is gentle, and many people claim to have benefited from its health-supporting properties. (I just bought some and will report back on its efficacy.)

The easy-to-grow herb Lemon Balm has nerve-calming properties that can be really helpful when dealing with shock or bad news. It is very gentle and subtle, but if you need something stronger, valerian root is really effective. It does have slight sedative properties, so it’s better taken at night. It will help you fall asleep and get through the night.

Have you ever used herbs or another natural remedy to get through a tough situation? What did you reach for, and how did it help? Please share!

Breakfast Clubbing

11/20/2014

It's officially a thing: The morning rave.

They're happening in New York, LA, and Atlanta, and in the UK and Ireland, too. What are they, exactly? Break-of-dawn dance parties where the only drugs available are caffeine and the beverage of choice is coconut water.

I've never been much of a nightclubbing party animal, and have only had one gym membership in my life (and I never once gave the equipment a try), but the breakfast rave seems like a healthy mashup of the two ideas. Doesn't busting out your best dance moves to get your endorphins pumping before work sound like more fun than running on a treadmill? I think so!

Would you give the daybreak rave a whirl? Why or why not? What do you do to get pumped in the morning?

Sweet Charity

11/12/2014

Philanthropist/vegan/television producer Sam Simon has made helping animals his life's work.

Sam Simon.

Even if you don't recognize the name, odds are good you're familiar with the man's work. He's written for many popular television shows over the years, including oldies Taxi and Cheers, but is best known for co-creating The Simpsons, which first aired 25 years ago and is still entertaining children and adults in every corner of the globe.

Two years ago, Simon was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. He's already beaten the odds and survived a year and a half longer than his doctors prognosticated, and the reason for his longevity just might be his philanthropic work.

Simon--who calls himself an animal lover--has made it his mission to spend the rest of his life helping animals and people in need. He has been quoted as saying that friends and family are already well-provided for, and that he has more money that he could ever hope to spend in his lifetime. So, what better way to leave a lasting legacy than through generous acts of kindness?

A number of novel programs are funded through the Sam Simon Foundation, including one that pairs veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars with service dogs, and Simon gives millions away to other organizations he believes in, including PETA, The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, and